It's been a while, and I think I haven't written because I was sad and I am sad for a long time now.  Writing blogs is sometimes like a tree falling in a forest. If no one reads it does it exist?

Today I talked about my screenplay with a woman. I told her that in the event of my protagonist's sister's death she is stricken with grief and wears her sisters pajamas so she can smell her scent then and she sleeps in her sister's bed. The woman asked me for a person so young, how did you even know how people grieve. I don't know how I know. I thought about it all day. Maybe it's television. Television taught me all my human emotion. after thinking about it a while longer, I realized that it wasn't just television.

Our scent is so unique because it lingers even after you are gone. It's a tag that we all create, but we never really notice. Pictures are created with the chemistry of light and ink, but our scents are created by the chemistry of a body. As if the scent is trying to look for its owner, eventually it drifts out and dissipates into the air. Knowing that it is so fleeting, we instinctively go and smell people's things when they are gone. It's the last remnants of their livelihood. 

I guess it's only really times when I don't have readily available friends around me that I feel the need to write in a blog. However, over the past year or two I have developed an interest in writing. Mainly in fiction. I have been thinking that to continue this interest and to give myself more practice, I will start a new blog in relations to my new brand label "Principles of King" more details when i actually start it not that anyone is reading besides carrie.

My grandma has recently passed and I still have a hard time of accepting it. I've cried about it for days and even (relatively secretly) cried about it on the plane to hong kong. I think I'm finaly over tears about it but the tear in my heart has yet to heal. My grandma and I are not too close. She is very closed mouthed and for the longest time I have been to shy to ask about her. I have asked about her apst last year while I was at the hospital with her but it just seems like small glimpses of her life and bigger things were still hidden somewhere that she either doesn't want to reveal or doesn't want to bother to reveal. I only wish I knew about her life more since I've started to develop a keen interst in learngin the development of a person and also because she has asked me to make her one of her funeral outfits. In chinese culture when a person dies, the family is to burn 7 outfits for them to bring to the after life. Before she has passed away, my grandmother has made herself 6 outfits. She saved the last one for me to design/make to show her support in my studies in fashion. I wish I knew about her more so that my design was not merely created out of my taste but with touches of past to remind her of her full life while in this world. However, it is too late for that now. I have already a design in mind and I have the fabrics chosen and will be purchased tomorrow. I was talking to the housekeeper about the fabrics today and she told me in her dreams my grandmother has kept asking her to give her clothes with red flowers on it and today I had brought a fabric with exactly that. I heart Derren Brown and I know he would say that this is just serendipitous coincidence, but I guess in times of sadness, things like this doesn't really seem so coincidential. Maybe my grandmother is speaking to us from beyond the grave. I just wish she was more comfortable in talking to me. If we weren't so estranged maybe she would come to me to talk and I can ask the questions I want to ask.

I've taken up a nanny job to help fund some future plans or my senior thesis. Its been tough for sure. Babies are so demanding of your attention and time. Taking care of one has made me terrified of being a mother. I only need to do this once a week. I can't imagine for the rest of my life. Yes babies get older and become kids, but kids are tough too. I took care of a few when I was in Shanghai also demanding of time and attention. It's cool that you can be so influential to such a tiny person, but I don't want that responsibility. I think I'm too much of a child at heart at this point for me to really allow myself to take care of something I have no control of. No can't do it I'm still a child mentally I think. I mean I guess I'm saying I'm not ready to grow up. i want to be a toys r us kid.

I write in this blog as well as in my personal journal. I never really saw my blog as a journal and knowing me ai don't really blog quite as much as I use to and mainly its because to be blogs are public even when they are set to private there are so many ways the world can penetrate into those entries if someone really wanted to. As a person of little importance compared to the world, well I guess it doesn't really matter.

In my pre-thesis class for my last year at parsons, my teacher, a very charismatic Australian man ( i'm not sure why but that's the only way I can describe him. When people ask for more details I just repeat the sentence because i'm that smart) wants to encourage more writing from us and during his inpromtu survey it appears I write the most because I blog and keep a journal and I also write little [private] stories/ screenplays on the side. They are not private because they are raunchy they are private because I'm not a confident writer so I just keep it to myself. I'm not one of great confidence. I told teacher that I don't consider myself a person who writes a lot because I only write very speratically but he seems to doubt me I don't know. I usually write more if there is no one for me to verbally express my problems so if I'm surrounded by friends who listen I tend not to write. *shrugs

well for those intersted in my fashon adventure, my senior thesis my partner, moira and I are creating a collection which I will hold off on spilling the details. It is a MASSIVE project because it goes beyond a collection of clothes but also branches out and interacts with other artist/designers whatever they want to call themselves. I'm not sure what the bigger picture is or my "thesis" element but I want this project to EPIC. If it's the last thing I do it's to make it something phenomeonal. I want it to reach high like in my dreams or above. I don't want to be underwhelmed. life should always be overwhelming.

Last night was EPIC!


( more under the cut )

I've recently created a team with my friend Moira Keogan and developed a brand called S&M (stella & moira)  we will bring the forces of design together so we can create harmony and chaos for the imaginative world that we see. Check out our website www.stellamoiradesigns.com.

This is my personal blog tecnnically speaking but my design life is so much part of my life and so much heart goes into our work that It's impossible to seperate it so I will be talking about our processes through here.

Moira and I on top of designing will be entering the Amazing Race... well hopefully. We will try out and hope for the best. It would be an adventure of our lifetime and we are now all about adventures. Adventures are not about where go but how you get there and this show if we get in will not only allow us to travel but mkae us go through all kinds adventures that will for sure give us a memory of a lifetime.

Yesterday I had too much fun with my friend Kitty Mok. First it was a leisure brunch and Fig and Olive. I never been to the Meatpacking District for food b/c it can be quite pricey but the brunch was of decent price and I thought since this is the FIRST time Kitty and I spent a full day together that it was worth it. Afterwards we went to The High Line. Which is a new NYC park that has just opened. The High line was an abandoned railroad track. It was to be taken down but some people fought for it's historical value and now it has been adopted as a public park. It was way cool and beautiful

you may have noticed that i don't have any pictures of myself and kitty. well that's bc kitty was in charge of human pics but her accidently deleted them all =( so unfortch i don't have any. it's ok. it's just an excuse to go back and take more

Afterwards we rented bikes and rod ethem down along the hudson river. it was beautiful and awesome but when we went back to return them it started to shower so for the most part we got all wet.

We went into the seaport mall to chill and cool off. however there was a eruo bunji thing where they strap you into a harness with buniji cords then you jump with it with a trampoline like thing. it  was AWESOME $10 for 5 mins and it was an awsome 5 mins!!!! I had no guts to do a flip but I WILL NEXT TIME I PROMISE!!!!

b/c we didn't want the fun to be over so soon, we decided to take the ferry to staten island. beautiful sunset-ty ferry ride. Saten island itself since we had no idea what was actually there for the most part was boringish but we ate at this joint which had deeeelicious fries. a badn called band 6 was playing a bunch of old dues but the lady sally had a fantastic voice and the band was quite great. fun times

then a night ferry trip home wonderful wonderful time!!!

I need to change this layout to non lj layout. I've been meaning to do it but let's face it I have no freakin clue how. I rely on dreamweaver and dreamweaver won't help me out here. carrie is suppose to help me if  I gave her the graphics but i'm unsure of what to give her. I should really push to ask.

I'm exhausted from work. interning really pulls all the energy out of me. I can't discuss what Susan is having me do because it's a secret until it hits the runway but it's pretty boring and hard to find research for now. The first thing i researched was hard to find but at least it was very specific so I knew what to look for this time iits realy board so ocne again i'm home with a stack of books to read/skim and put together by friday. blah.

sigh I wish i had my yv back for some brain relaxing time... =*(

anyways, this summer I have been interning in new york instead of asia. I'm working at susan cianciolo which i have worked with before i think last fall, white + warren who were my previous internship's clients, and eniko's eco lingere she hasn't figured out her name yet but she's starting her own company. I quite enjoy it even though i'm pretty much brain dead when i get home. I also manage to have fun on the weekends which is good. This week i'm also adding on to my list of things to do of actually finishing up my websites. one for s&m which is my new brand/company of mine in partnership with my good friend Moira. check it out www.stellamoiradesgins.com. I have to go to work now what a bummer morning

There was a girl from Canada who found a my project image through Flickr.com. She was writing an article for nowpublic.com about a WWD spoof newsletter called WWWWD. This is a public site so anyone is allowed to write a newsletter and post it. I thought it was interesting how she found my image.

My project was called "Ads are so hot right now." This project was my approach on monogram printed project produced by high fashion brands such as Louis Vuitton's monogram purses. I felt that these bags lack in creativity in terms of design and are basically ad's for purchase. Very expensive ads for purchase.
Link to the public article

I don't know who this Canadian girl is but I'm touched that someone I don't know personally took a liking to my work.... even though my work has spelling mistakes.

This is an outfit that was inspired by Noel Feilding's character, Vince Noir, from the Mighty Boosh. He or They introduced me to Electro Punk. Feilding's style in general really left me questioning ideas/ideals of fashion and what beauty could be. I will be making more to make a small collection.
Thanks again Jill for modeling
Thanks to Moira for her assistance
Hair and Make is also by me (I know not the most skilled =p)